Pet Peeve!

I have discovered a new pet peeve. It's the peeve of all peeves! People who try to set the standard for what others should or shouldn't  be thinking or feeling. If you're not exactly on point with them, they feel the need to play devils advocate and point out why they feel you should or should not have any validation in what you're saying or feeling.

Perfect examples of this:

"oh so you think it's cold there, it's colder here". Translation, "you're not colder than me. Your observation is invalid".

"So being a stay at home mom is hard? Try being a working mom". Translation, "I am the only mom that has any reason to complain, because I'm beyond important. I'm the end all be all to what motherhood is".

"So what, some celebrity died. Soldiers die everyday and I don't see their names being posted all over Facebook". Translation, " I never really liked that person. They aren't important to me so I'm going to make you feel like an ass for caring".

Reality, soldiers are silent heroes. They're respected and cherished. Just because they aren't mentioned by name doesn't mean no one cares. It's because sometimes we don't know their names. You want a list of their names, talk to the media about that. Even better, talk to our government. Have them give you and the public with a list of the dead.

And my all time personal favorite, " I don't understand why people are focusing on this "topic" or "issue", when this "topic/ issue" is far more important (example, GMO vs LGBT rights).
Translation, "look at me! I'm a prick!"

What bothers me the most about this topic, is there's a missed opportunity to connect with people because of the need to say, "oh yeah...look at me". No discussions, no sharing and comparing stories. Just a weak attempt at seeming important. It's arrogant. It's a pissing contest of sorts and it's quite ridiculous. If you are arrogant I would rather have you tell me why you're so great and why your opinions matter, instead of telling everyone else why they aren't important and why their opinions don't matter.

Instead of dismissing people, try jumping off of your high horse and come join the conversation. No? Ok, then just go away.

Sorry, end of rant....

For all of the artistic moms out there...

My first phone conversation with my 3 year old

Just enjoyed the first phone conversation with my daughter. I am a stay at home mom, so I am constantly with my children. Always by my side or on my lap. Daddy and Audrey just left to go pick some lunch up for the family. Here I am sitting on my blog, bloggin' away while Wyatt's playing in his play pin, when my phone rings. It was daddy-o. I answered and he says, "Audrey wants to talk to you". And there she was on the other line. The sweetest voice I have ever heard. She told me that she missed me. A super simple concept, I know, but damn that was heartwarming. I had never heard her voice over the phone before. It was so tiny and sweet.
Pretty cool moment.

A note to myself, from my inner child....

Raising a toddler is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Everyday is a challenge. This is my first time dealing with discipline, tantrums and teaching a child right from wrong. The whole process is trial by error. Lots and lots of error. There is rarely a night that I don't go to bed thinking, "why did I say this", or, "I should have done this better". Guilt, complete and utter guilt, every night. Building such a complex relationship with very little, if any, communication, is beyond difficult. Its maddening, saddening, and exhausting.

Tantrums that go virtually unprovoked that include.biting, kicking and throwing are unacceptable. Throwing a cup of milk on the floor because you wanted water, not ok. Kicking mom in the face, out of anger, when shes dressing you for bed, not ok.

Teaching a little human right from wrong is one of the most important things you do as a parent. Discipline is key. Patience is fleeting. I find myself creating battles with her that I cant win, but only she loses. I find myself getting sucked into these moments. Arguing with a 2 year old is one of the most ridiculous things that you find yourself doing. Seriously? What the hell. The days when I find myself getting to caught up in conflict with Audrey, are the worse days of all. You feel defeated...and if you won the battle, you feel like an ass, because shes just a baby. Of course shes gonna lose the battle. I'm an adult and she is just a kid.

On these days, after she goes to sleep, I find myself in tears. Shattered. That moment of, " thank you its her bedtime", quickly turn into, "I want to go into her room and curl up with her". The need to immediately wake her up and have at least 1 hour with her that's so magnificent that she forgets about how mommy put her on 2 time outs before she was done with dinner.

When I find myself alone with these thoughts of parental failure, I try to dig down deep into my heart and soul to find an answer to the days questions. The one thing that connects me to Audrey, is my childhood. I have to remember that I wasn't always a mom. I haven't always been an adult. I was once a little girl like her. One thing I realized, is that a lot of my insecurities as a grown woman stem from my fathers lack of parenting skills. His inability to be kind, understanding or forgiving.

I never want Audrey to make a mistake and start shaking because she is afraid that I will be mad at her. I don't want her to see me and feel fear. I never ever, ever want her to think that shes not good enough. So the other night, after everyone had gone to bed, I sat outside and wrote myself a little note.
A reminder, if you will, about what my job is. Who I am. Where I come from.

"Heidi,
 you were once a child like Audrey.
Audrey has been given an enormous amount of responsibility and expectations for being only 2 1/2 (more than you ever had put upon you).
she is 90% curiosity and 10% intention.  don't treat her like she knows the impact of her actions 100% of the time.
be kind, be understanding...think of her as being innocent,because that's what she is. she has no concept of deceit or malice.  correct her behavior within the margins of her intent.
remember that all of the insecurities you have now planted their roots in your childhood.
remember all of the times a situation grew out of your control and understand that the same happens with Audrey. she does not deserve to be reprimanded all of the time. she is not guilty...don't fill her with guilt. encourage her learn from the mistakes that she does not recognize as being anything more than "something she just did".  she is smart. she is growing up fast. she is still just a child. be kind. be patient. be her inspiration, be her guide, be her mom.".

Your local nursery, an educational treasure trove.

So today I was feeling stir crazy. I wanted to get myself and my kids out of our comfort zone and go explore. I'd been wanting to teach our 3 year old about different textures, smells, colors and sounds. Away from our home, away from our normal surroundings. 

So where was I going to take her? where could we go where she could touch whatever she wanted and see bright colors and smell a wide variety of scents? I pondered for a while and it hit me....the nursery!

All kinds of colorful flowers, plants and trees. all different kinds of smells and textures. She could touch things  without me worrying about her breaking them, and if she did I could more than likely afford to buy it (unlike most department stores, lol). So off we went. A grand adventure. 

I can not begin to describe the level of excitement my little girl experienced upon arrival at the nursery. Wide open, safe place for her to run around. Water fountains, wisteria, lemon trees and more. There were all different kinds of bees buzzing around. humming birds, roses the size of her face and wagons to pull your bounty in.

Observation was the main lesson I wanted to teach her. So I kept asking her what her observations were, followed by these questions:

What color is that?

How does it feel? ( I'd explain to her what she was "feeling". Soft, smooth, sharp, rough, etc.)

Does that smell nice? ( then I would explain to her, "that's what sweet smells like", or "that's what sour smells like (citrus)".

"Is that a fruit or a vegetable?"

At the end of the visit to the nursery Audrey made her observations and came to the conclusion that she loves moss. She loves moss because its green and soft. She also concluded that roses smelled the best out of everything that she had smelled at the nursery.

When I asked her, "out of everything you saw today, what would you want planted in your garden?" Her response; "oranges, because they taste the best".

There you have it. Besides the cost of gas, it was a free adventure that was educational. Audrey became more aware of different textures, smells, colors and sounds. She learned how to make observations and form her own opinions. I also had the joy of feeling relaxed and comfortable with letting her run around and explore things with her hands and her brother soaked it all in via the comfort of the stroller :)

Kiddie Kabobs

I love kabobs. They are a fun and easy snack for lunch and picnics. My only problem is with the skewers. They're sharp. lets face it, even with supervision it only takes a toddler one millisecond to do the unthinkable. So arming them with a sharp stick seems to be a very bad idea.

today I wanted to introduce my 3 year old daughter to the wonderful world of kabobs. I couldn't find the skewers I had just bought. it was fine though. While searching for them I started realizing that I wasn't really comfortable with her having access to small wooden weapons, especially with her baby brother around. I searched in my kitchen drawers and found a fun and safe alternative......wait for it.....straws!!!! I finally had a use for the huge package of colorful straws I bought 2 years ago. So here is how to make kiddie safe kabobs.....

What you need: straws, scissors, and a chopstick (or a kabob skewer).

Step 1:
cut the straw to desired length. cut one end at an angle to help it go through the food. I suggest softer foods like cheese, cubed cooked chicken and avocados.

 Step 2:
start making your kabob. Any food that the straw wont punch through, use a chopstick or actual kabob skewer to puncture holes through the food, then place them onto your straw skewer.
If the straw still has a hard time puncturing through the food, insert a chopstick in the actual straw when adding your food. This helps make it strong and prevents the straw from bending. remove chopstick before serving. Cut the endof the straw when you are done to remove the sharp edge.

Step 3:
Serve up your colorful creation to your kiddos and feel good knowing that you just gave them a safe and healthy kabob. You go mom!

Silence

As defined in the English dictionary, Silence is the absence of any sound or noise; stillness.

For a parent silence is something that is, missed, craved, suspect and rare.
Its amazing how noise polluted your brain can become when you're sharing your space with children, pets and modern technology (the boob tube).

 Children don't long for moments of silence like adults do. Their main goal is to have a blast discovering their voice and the sounds that things make when you slam them together. And that's awesome, but at some point, you as a parent need silence. The best kind of silence is the kind that surprises you in the middle of the day, or on a car ride. That magical moment when you realize both of your kids are asleep at the same time!

Sure there are things to do when you finally have your hands free. Chores, bills, and catching up with your DVR. But I think the most important thing that we never really seem to do, is take the time to breath in the silence and enjoy it. No TV no radio, just a mind at rest. Open the windows and let the sounds and smell surround you. Breathe it in. Its rejuvenating. whats good for you is even better for the kids. 

And of course, as i sit here breathing in my moment, the baby starts crying....
It was damn good while it lasted though.


                           My silent moment came with a beautiful view